The Pros and Cons of 2007

So it has come to that time of the year (the second to last day of the year) and I sit here thinking about what I might have to look forward to in 2007. Yes it is all good that I have been fortunate enough to live this long and hopefully welcome in the new year, but I can't help but think ... what is in store for me in the new year?

So I decided to make a list, a mental one of course because only an idiot would actually write that stuff down, but I got stuck. Is there really much to look forward to in the new year? I mean, of couse people say that it's the time for change and you can make up any resolution you want - but seriously, how many of them actually last? I know the ones I make certainly never do. Does this mean I'm doomed no matter which way I look at it?

The only major change I can think of about my life right now is the big move back home. Yes, I have talked about it a lot over my last few posts but only because it's scaring the life out of me! Honestly! I can't help but feel sad, almost regretful that I have to go back. I don't see it benefiting me in any way and although the main reason for me returning is because of my family, a small part of me wishes it could be different.

There is a silver lining though, at least I get to change my job - although it is still with the same company, its a different position to where I am now so that means I get to learn new things! This excites me because I love to learn when it comes to my job, you can never know enough I say!!

Two other things that I am looking forward to in the new year is the release of the 5th installment of the Harry Potter Films "HARRY POTTER AND THE ORDER OF THE PHOENIX," and of course the release of the final installment of the book series - book seven "HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS" - those who know me well, know I am a big fan of JK Rowling so these are two things I can definitly look forward too next year!

It seems changes are happening weather I like it or not, the decision now is - will I sit on the Pro or Con fence?

Who knows?

Yay - Bring on 2007!

I am so glad all the Christmas blah is over! I'm not saying that Christmas is bad or anything but I'm just over the hussle and bustle of it! It's bad enough that some kids are greedy as it is but around this time of year, it's insane! I'm glad I don't have to worry about that right now, but I'm dreading the day I do!

It's just so good to be relaxing in my house, on boxing day chilling out and not being overwhelmed by Christmas ads on tv ... although I have to admit, the Christmas TV movies are always a good watch, seeing as most of them are only shown once a year!

My flatmate and I tried to brave the malls today - huge mistake! It was so packed with people I felt like i was in a herd of cattle as we moved from one shop to another...the crowds were insane! Everyone was looking for that "bargin" and some would stop at nothing to get it. We were only there a short time before we were drained of the minor energy we had left from the Christmas hooplah.

So now it's time we get prepared for the New year ... hopefully the lead up will be less stressful ... although I'm not holding my breath as the new year brings major change for me, getting ready to move back home means I have to endure the hard task of packing - which I loath - argh, just thinking about it is making me feel sleepy!!

Well, start the countdown, the end of the year draws near which means more new and exciting adventures are still to come! Here's hoping it'll be an exciting ride!

Fingers Crossed ...

Christmas blues

I have been feeling a little sad this week and I was trying to figure out why? I mean, it's Christmas! I should be singing and celebrating the festive season, but for some reason I just don't feel cheerful!

You see, this is the first Christmas I will be spending without anyone of my immediate family. Every year since I can remember I have always at least been around if not one, then all of them but this year, not one of them will be around me and that kinda bums me out.

I know I will see them again soon when I move back home in about 2-3 weeks, but there's something about this time of year that makes you want to be around your family. I love my family a lot and of course I miss not being around them for the other 11 months of the year but December is time for family (so I have gown up to believe) and not being around family right at this moment is a sad feeling.

So I guess you can say I kinda got the Christmas blues - I know it's only temporary but it's still a stink feeling to have! Thank goodness for the internet - at least I can communicate with them still - even if I can't be with them. Sadness for the holidays, what gift could be worse then that?

Bring on 2007 - I'm ready for a change.

Dirty Little Secrets

Have you ever stopped to think why people keep secrets? I was listening to a song the other day - funnily enough, it was called 'Dirty Little Secret' and it just made me think - What is it about secrets that make them so 'dirty'?

I then began to think about secrets I have (yes, I have secrets. Don't we all?) and I began to realise they are called dirty secrets because if people were to find out about them, they would make us either feel dirty, or look dirty in other peoples eyes!

Is this because we as humans are so fragile that anything that is not considered 'normal' is wrong or 'dirty'? I don't care what people say (and I am guilty of being one of those people) but everyone cares about what everyone else thinks about them - otherwise, if we didn't care, we wouldn't have any secrets to hide, would we?

Of course, there are the 'other' type of secrets - the ones that we keep to save others from getting hurt, but honestly - does it really save them, or does it prolong the inevitable? You can't really save someone from something they'll probably find out eventually and whos to say that it hiding it from them is a good thing? I mean, how confusing is that!

It amazes me how humans can be so complicated when reality is, life should be simple. Say what you feel, do what you want (within reason of course!) and then there would be no reason for secrets...

It makes you think huh?

Who say's music is black or white?

It's no secret to those who know me that I love music. I'm ecclectic, which I'm pretty sure is someone who likes different types of music. So you can imagine my suprise when a friend of mine said to me, while watching a music countdown on TV, that the number 1 song on the chart was porbably going to be some 'white song' - naturally, I hit the roof.

I practically screamed 'what the hell does that mean?' which caught him off guard (and probably scared him a bit too) and he quickly said that what he meant to say was that it was probably going to be some punk/rock or grunge song. When I asked him why he referred to it as 'white' he simply said he was refering more to the artist/s - yeah right, and I'm a monkey's uncle!

I know I've heard this expression before but never really thought about it until now! I mean, since when did music become 'Colour Coded'? White music/Black music - who's to say which is which? As you can probably tell I totally disagreed with this logic and my example I 'heatedly' gave to my friend was, of course - Justin Timberlake. Last time I checked, he was white and I'm pretty sure he still is. Now it's not rocket sicence but we all know that his music is definitly not grunge nor punk rock!

It's bad enough that I get the 'weird-eye' from strangers when I'm rocking away to the sounds of 'My Chemical Romance' or 'All American Rejects' on my Ipod on the bus or when I have it blasting in my car, but to be labled because of the 'colour' of the music I listen to is insane. I mean, I love all types of music, and I listen to whatever I'm in the mood to listen to - sometimes it's rap or R&B and sometimes it's pop, rock or grunge. If defining music by colour were in fact a reality, then what colour would that make me?

What is it with humans and their need to label things? I mean, come on people - Music is Music, it's not black or white or any colour of the rainbow. It's an expression. You feel it, you don't see it. Why do we always feel the need to fit things into a 'box' and label it what society deems it to be? Can we please get over this obsession and leave music the way is should be -

purely unmarked.

Is home really where the heart is?

Well big things are happening in the next couple of months ... the most important being the move back home to Wellington. I guess you can say I am a tiny bit excited, but there is a part of me that is genuinly sad that I'm leaving Auckland. Ok, cue the J.A.F.A jokes (rah rah) - but to be totally honest, I don't care. I still maintain that Auckland is a great place to live!

I've been here (in Aux) for two years now and I can definitly say that it has been an awesome experiance. I've meet so many interesting and wonderful people that I will definitly never forget. I have learnt so much about life, love and personal development since being here and I am greatful to all the awesome people that have crossed paths with me!

Although I am 'mildly' happy about going back home, there are some things that worry me. Yes, I was young and naive when I was growing up (aren't we all??) and I did some things I'm not proud of, but things have changed. I have changed, I've grown up a lot since being there and I have finally found who I am - ME.

So how do you change your headspace to accomodate the changes of moving from a big city, to a tiny one that's kind of like the cast of cheers - where everyone knows your name? I'm afraid that after all the effort I've put into being 'ME' and my own person that I'm going to fall back into the 'routine' of my old way of living. I don't think I could handle that.

So as I embark on this transition of my life I hope like hell that I am strong enough not to conform to the ways of old and keep striving to do what makes me who I am, not what people think I should be.

Only time will tell ...

Christmas Giving - Does it really help?

We all hear about how Christmas is a time for giving and how we should think about those who are less fortunate than ourselves at this time of year. This got me thinking ... does the giving at Christmas really help anybody?

I use to think this thought was a little selfish but the more I think about it, the less sympathy I feel for those who have let themselves go because they've spent all their money on drugs and alcohol or some other abusive substance. Of couse, I'm all for change and yes, there are some people out there that do really try to better themselves and I say 'Hi5' to them for trying. But what about those people who, no matter how hard you try to save them, just keep falling back to their old habits. You know, the Hopeless cases.

If you saw a homeless guy on the street and he asked you for some change, would you give it to him? I guess the easy answer would be - YES, but only because it's december and it's that time for giving. But who's to say that once he has enough 'change' from random strangers he's going to put it to good use? How do we know that he wont use the 'change' we give him to go buy some more alcohol or drugs?

Wouldn't it be better, rather than givingmoney, to offer him a meal, or a shower - maybe some old clothes and a job? It would make more sense to give him the tools to learn to earn a buck for himself to get him back on his feet. If he accepts - you know he wants to change, if not - well then tell him to shove off and find some other geezer to try and pull the wool over!

Don't get me wrong, I'm no scrooge. I'd love nothing more to help a fellow person in need, but sometimes you got to think - before you do random acts of kindness this season, think about weather the person you're sharing the kindness with really wants to be helped, otherwise you're good intensions will be put to waste.

Food for thought.

Obsessed Much?

What is the deal with human natures need to be obsessive? Now I'm not talking about those people who have OCD - the crazy one's that have to flick a light switch on and off twenty times before they leave the room otherwise someone will die. I'm talking about the lesser of these evils.

This interesting thought came to me last night when my flat mate and I were at home chilling out after dinner. As mentioned before I have just purchased a new laptop and one of the features on it is Bluetooth capability. Now of course, because it was my new toy I instantly tried every feature at great length because, well, that's just what people do when they buy new things.

Anyway, last night my flatmate asked me if she could use the Bluetooth capability to download some items from her phone. My response was "sure, you can try. But I already exsausted (sorry not a big speller) my energy trying and it doesn't work."

But as human nature does, my flatmate decided to try it herself anyway. I found it extremely funny that even though I told her it didn't work, she went through three grueling hours of trial and error to come to the same conclusion as I did.

Isn't it funny that no matter how many times someone tells us something won't work, or that something isn't possible we try it for ourselves anyway? If you ask me, it's an enormous waste of time, but I would probably still do it anyway! Strange how most people react the same way to this problem. Is it because we just need to do things for ourselves in order to believe it's true? Do we really have that little faith in our fellow man that we can't trust their opinion.

What does that say about us as human beings?

Scary huh?

Feeling under the weather is never a good time!

So I woke up this morning feeling not so hot. I pushed myself out of bed and into the shower hoping that I would feel better, but sadly this was not the case. I managed to force my way to work and after sitting at my desk for about two hours I was ready to curl over and die!

Isn't being sick a drag? Of course, having people feel sorry for you and tell you to take it easy and relax is not so bad, but in all honestly - being ill sucks!

So I come home to relax but istead I had this mad obsession to clean my house. Why? To be honest, I have no idea. Was I really feeling sick or was I just trying to find an excuse to come home and to clean up the mess I had made the night before? As I sit here typing away, I still honestly feel I am ill. My stomach is doing backflips but it seems to be not as sever as it was this morning, which I guess is a good thing!

Well, if I am ever going to recover I best get some rest. Till next time

Love your work x0x

The "Uneasy Feeling" - What's that about?

So I had this conversation with a friend of mine the other day because I was feeling a little, well for lack of a better word, "BLAH" about something. When she asked me exactly what it was I had no idea how to explain it to her.

Basically there's this guy, who has become a really good friend of mine and I am in no way interested in him romantically, which is the strange part. Anyway what's more strange is there is a girl, who is in no way stable and is one of those girls that uses her body to get attention from guys, even if she only wants them as just friends. Well she has suddenly become interested in my friend and suprisingly, because he is a guy, he has taken the bait.

This is where the "Uneasy Feeling" comes in. I couldn't help but feel "strange" about this. I mean, what is that? Is there even a word for it? Is it normal for friends to feel this way about their friends of the opposite sex? If someone has the answer please put us all out of our misery and share the secret because frankly, it's driving me insane.

I suppose it's because the chick involved is a bit of an attention seeking, self obsorbed, "it's all about me" kind of girl and my friend is obviously her next victim. It's obviously not my place to say anything to my friend but what am I meant to do? Sit back and watch her chew him up and spit him out? How do I warn him, without it looking like I want to be more than friends?

Someone has to be able to put some logic on this situation ... if anyone knows how to work the magic and still come out looking like the "concerned friend" - please let me know!

I'm totally confused!

Technology - How facinating!

Ok, so today I went out and purchased myself an early Christmas present. Yes, that's right, I said myself! I mean, it's not everyday I can splurg out on things for myself so I did it, and I don't want you all to think that I'm some loner that has no friends so I have to buy my own presents coz that ain't me either. I just decided that after not having bought myself anything in a while that I would treat myself. So no judging ok, because buying yourself something once in a while is quite justified, especially if you work hard for it.

Anyway, I finally purchased another laptop. Now, if I said it was the one I had been dreaming of my whole life, I would be lying. Mostly because technology these days is advancing so fast the laptop I would have dreamed of would have been obsolete ages ago! So I just settled for the brand - SONY. Yes I know some of you were probably thinking I was going to say APPLE, but I found the SONY VAIO's more appealing and so far I have not been dissapointed!

So there you have it - technology has become so much a part of everyones lives, weather we like it or not. I mean, I am even on the internet right at this moment, blogging away like it's nobody's business to a bunch of strangers that i'll probably never meet - so much for the personal touch, if it continues to become more advanced, who knows where we'll end up - maybe the Jetson's are not so far off ...

Well, that's all from me now... I think I'm going to play some more on my new found love of technology ...

Ciao!